Final Decision

Don't Care!

Too late to make this decision.
I can say BYE BYE to my trial edi..

Having Flu now! Shit!

I was out of it.

Now I fall back in again.

It just stabbed me, deeply.

Haih..

1 week had passed.

Sometimes, somehow, everything are just too complicated.

人与人之间的矛盾，冲突，复杂的关系真的是没完没了。

有时，我真的想丢开现在所有的一切，去一个没有人认识我的地方，从新开始。
但是我知道，这样做等于懦夫，这样做是很不负责任的。

其实，一切的事情并不复杂，只是人把它弄得复杂而已。
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What's wrong with this world? (refer to something which I really cant accept, but the world take it as very normal.)
Is like, what the heck! This world had changed to the extent such that they accept all the 'wrong' and 'abnormalities' to be right, to be normal; and they debate over it, to prove that they are right, is nothing wrong and is not abnormal.

Come on la, if it is wrong, means wrong. No matter how you twist and turn, it is still wrong!

I am referring to most of the people out there, where they are brain-washed by don't know what, I don't know how they come to this, who started all this, or they are so stupid till that they brain wash themselves?
Or is some phenomena like hysteria? where 1 people started it then it will spread, spread to those originally-normal-people, but because they don't have a strong and rational mind, they trap themselves in it too, and started to shout like mad people.

Most of the time, Things are not 'majority wins'.
You can't accept something as truth, as right, as correct just because majority of the people out there say that it is truth, it is right, it is correct!

Because, truth is truth.
It can't be changed because most of the people want to change it.
This shows the selfishness of human beings.
They use 'force' to let the truth 'down', for their lust, for their own advantage, to get what they want.
They protest, they purpose a lot of their own reasoning, trying to change truth to untruth, the untruth to truth.

Enough said.
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Tomorrow, 1 of my friend, Mathew, is leaving to UK, for 1 and a half year or longer.
He will be going there alone! Totally ALONE!
Salute his courage.

Really Thank God for him.
Is like just know him for not long then he is leaving edi.
He is one the nicest person that I have ever met.

Thank you for teaching me guitar, and guiding me to be a guitarist.

Though my guitar skill still not good now, but I promise that I won't disappoint you, I am practicing it now everyday and will keep on doing it.
Hope that when you come back, I'll be a pro guitarist. haha!

祝你一路顺风 ，上帝必定会看顾保守你的。
All The Best!

Jay's Chords

Dear Father Lord in Heaven,

Please forgive everything that I have done.
I was lost
I abandoned you
But you didn't abandon me.
You kept asking me to go back to you.
But I just ignored.
I just want to do it my ways, which I know is wrong.
I realized, but I ignored.
I was self-centered and it makes me fall.

At last, I am awaken by your voice.
At last, I realized how wicked and how sicked I was.
Thank God for not abandon me when I was lost.
Thank God for bringing me back to the right path.
Thank God for holding me all the way.

I don't deserve all that.
Thank God for loving me.

Guide me for everything that is going to happen next, let me know what to do.
Let me follow your will, cause your will will always be done and it is good.
Hold me and grant me strength.

Thanks God for everything.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

At last, I broke down.

The missing piece of puzzle is found.
The hidden truth is uncovered.
The whole picture is clear.

I am stupid to realize it so late.

No words to describe my feeling now.
Thank God that I didn't collapse totally.
Thank God for protecting my life, grant me the rationality, so that my life was not harmed.

Though its bleeding but I think I can be normal,
not by myself, but with God's strength.

Should I stay or let go?