Note posting

Sundram says when we revise within 1 day 50% will stays in our mind.
And if we keep revise and at last everything will stay in our mind. (Roughly of what he said)
So, I am revising in blog now.

I copy his note here.
As I copy, I read and I revise.
And after I copied, I read it again I revise twice.

To my friends who are hardworking to read what I copy, you get to revise too.
So let's do revision together! ^^

Is hard, but not impossible..

2008 STPM results make me feel scared.
STPM is totally different from SPM, and the standard is much more higher.
Really don't play play~!

I need to 'rescue' my PA, the subject that I have the least confident on it, and the subject that I feel the most blur.

I need to 'rescue' my Organic chemistry, which I have no idea at all when you simply throw any of the simplest question to me.

No matter how, really, really, have to start to prepare already. My ultimate target is 4 flat, and I am insist on that, I want to get it and I NEED to WORK and PRAY for it.


My current problems are:
-I have poor memory, I will forget what I've studied in a very short time.
-My time management is poor, I always find that I have no enough time.
-I have poor sleeping quality, I always didn't sleep well during the night and feel tired during the day, which will distract my concentration on study.
-Again, this is due to poor management of life, I always have many things to do till that I have no time to study, one things come before another go.
-I am addicted towards online. My kind of addiction is, everyday when the clock shows 10pm, the feeling of online will come and I hardly stop myself from online. And when I online, I will sleep late.
-Language problem, BM and English.
-Other problems that are vexing me, I tried my best to don't care about them, and I really need to get myself out from it, they will make my probability of getting 4 flat to be reduced.

Everyone has their own problems. Maybe after listing out all of them and you will find a way to tackle them. I hope I am able to do that.
Everyone wants 4 flat. So do I. The reason I want is because when I get that, the decision will be on me, I WILL choose the course and University that I want, I WILL choose the scholarship that I want(if there is), not the other way round.

I know is hard. But it is not Impossible.
Just, there are price to be paid.

All the best!

All about Kayu

I am a kayu.
Kayu in the sense that I am not flexible at all. My body is kayu, my way of doing things is kayu, my thinking is kayu, my expression is kayu, my life is kayu. I have a kayu life.
These day I am practicing a 'tai chi' dance, to be performed during ACS birthday,but at last it is canceled by don't know who's that stupid person.
And I am the most kayu of all during the practice, I am not natural, not flexible, my body is kayu.
Last year, during NS, I learnt para-para sakura, and performed during the last day. And I was kayu too.
You can see my body, is kayu.
In term of thinking, I am kayu, usually I will think straight, even I try to think out of the box, I will think within the straight area only. I am just kayu.
I never know how to express my truth feeling, my body language sucks to the max, I hardly put my thoughts into words. I am just stupid, I don't know a lot of thing, my social intelligent is approximately 0.
Actually there is many kinds of intelligent:

Abstract Intelligent for symbolic reasoning.
Social Intelligent for dealing with people.
Practical Intelligent for getting things done.
Emotional Intelligent for self-awareness and self-management.
Aesthetic Intelligent for sense of form, design, music , art and literature.
Kinesthetic Intelligent for body skills such as sports and dance.

And my score for all the Intelligent will be:

Abstract Intelligent- Maybe got 50%
Social Intelligent- Approximate 0%
Practical Intelligent- Approximate 0%
Emotional Intelligent- Approximate 0%
Aesthetic Intelligent- Approximate 0%
Kinesthetic Intelligent- Approximate 0%

In conclusion, I have low intelligent and I am actually stupid.

To cry and to smile

I envy those who can cry whenever they feel like crying.
For some people, sometimes they feel like crying but they just can't!
They forgot how to cry.
This is because long time they didn't cry, or whenever they feel like crying, they control it, they endure the feeling, they don't want to break down in front of others and even in front of themselves. The long term effect of this is their tear gland is blocked and when come to the time when they really want to cry, they can't cry. The feeling is more painful than when you are crying.

Recently, many things happened. And I have the strong feeling to cry when those things happened, but my tears didn't manage to flow out from my eyes.
A 14 year old little girl in my church had a brain tumor grow between her dorsal brain and spinal cord and undergone a major surgery to remove the tumor last saturday. The risk of doing this surgery is Very High! Imagine the brain...and the spinal cord. The whole church was praying for her. Some even fast for her. Everyone was worried about her although most of us don't know who is her (I don't even see her before, or seen her but don't know that is her).
The operation was 100% successful!
I was so touched and i almost cry when Rev Yeoh annonce that, I really use my 'strengh' to control and stop that feeling of crying cause I don't want to break down in front of so many people and I cant stop myself from praising God in my heart that time. Even if the result is 90% successful is enough for most of the people to cry(to be touched), but it is not 90, is 100! How great is our God!
Next, There was a day when I talked to Sherlyn in msn and her words made me wanna cry(no, she didn't bully me), I controlled that also.
There were few other cases which makes me feel like crying but I didn't cry until now.
I don't know, maybe I will feel better if I break down for once, but I have forgotten how to cry, and I don't want to see my teary face, I don't know how to face that.

Smile is a universal language/symbol where everyone can understand.
I would say that smile is a universal way for people to disguise or hide their internal feeling.
And people say, smile always. I would say that is bullshit in the sense that we smile or laugh even though sometimes we don't feel like smiling. We smile to please others, we smile because we know others like it. And we are used to it.
Always, we look ok outwardly but we are actually not internally, we hide it by smiling and laughing along with others.

Life didn't get better no matter we smile or we cry. Yea, we can't choose the situation in our life, but we can choose the way to face it. We can be depressed and cry with it or laugh along with it, but no matter how, our inside feeling is the same. We are running away from our problem. Sometimes we should not cry or smile, instead we must take out initiative to solve the problem, to get rid of it from our life so that we can have a Real Smile in our face. I admit that I can't do that, most of the time, and since I can't cry, so the only choice for me is to laugh along with it, the feeling is actually as painful as when you cry along with it. To be more accurate, is actually more painful.

Things come and go. But recently, 1 things come before another go. I am tired of it, I really need a break.

God, please lead me through this, I know that you will not solve 90% of my problem, but 100! Yea, 100%! I have 100% faith on that.

I need a break..

I draft a lot. I don't think it is suitable to post all those draft.


Hope everything will be fine. That's all.

Meaningful

I got this from an Email, which I found it very meaningful. It is in Chinese, I have translated some of it to English. Hope the message can still be delivered even with my bad English.

Human need God, but they always mess up their life by depending on themselves.

I like this. The King represent Jesus. The word says: It is harder for Jesus to be 'lay down' and 'obedient' than us, but He did it.

The truth believe is not to cover the hideous(sins), but to uncover it.

We can't choose our life/the way we live, but we can choose how to face it.

Most of the people are standing in front of the door of eternity and refuse to go in because they are ''lazy(or don't want) to explore'' the path towards it.




Do not envy on others about their life, cause God has given you the 'most suitable' life to live.

I like this too! The truth freedom is when we are within the 'area of our creator'
This pic illustrate very well, God has put us in this world in a bumper car playground. If we refuse to 'play our life' inside the playground (disobedient God, think that by playing outside we will have more freedom) , we will eventually lost our freedom.
Man(our relatives or friends) might absent in some of our performance(of life), but Jesus will never absent.

How much is the potential that God put in us? Answer: Much More than we ever knew it.



A person who love God will love the others regardless of how they 'active' in religious activities.

We are not happy because we always think what we don't have. We should appreciate what we have, what God has given us.
Learn how to forgive people as Jesus have done that on the cross for us.
Human and Animals are difference because Human eat to survive, not live to eat.



People experienced God during their hard time is much more happy.......
Human always wants to see supernatural phenomena (miracle), they forgot the nature around them are actually miracle.
It is a miracle that we are still living now (think about it, esp for Bio students)

People do something bad to us, is their fault. But we will be the same species as them if we revenge on them.
'We are useless if we refuse to perform our function.'

Some people 'laugh' that we follow Jesus blindly, they are actually 'laughing' blindly because they don't know what Christianity is


That's all. Another meanigful quote that I read in a book,
Some people might think like this at the end of a day: I have lost a day.
But, to some other people, they will be grateful bacause they have Earned 1 more day.

Stop it!

Someone is ruining my life.
Please stop it now!
I am enduring, and my there's a certain limit to my endurance.

Hey, stop the nonsense! Don't be so foolish and childish! Form 6 isn't easy, why can't you just focus on your study? Too free? Get a calender and start counting down instead of ruining my life. Just stop it now and I still can pretend that nothing has happened.

Don't make me tell you such words face to face. Behave yourself.

p/s: Don't simply make your 'smart' guess of who I am giving this message to. And please don't ask me about who is it and any question related to this. I am sick of it. That person will understand if it read this.

Some update

I have booked the ticket to Sabah, will be going there with Jit Yo and coming back with my Grandparents! Haha..Glad that I will not be coming back alone. Here is my flight detail..

Depart

Kuala Lumpur LCCT (KUL) to Kota Kinabalu (BKI)
Tuesday, 05 Jan 2010 Flight AK 5106
Depart Kuala Lumpur LCCT (KUL) at 12:50
Arrive in Kota Kinabalu (BKI) at 15:20

Return

Kota Kinabalu (BKI) to Kuala Lumpur LCCT (KUL)
Tuesday, 12 Jan 2010 Flight AK 5111
Depart Kota Kinabalu (BKI) at 20:05
Arrive in Kuala Lumpur LCCT (KUL) at 22:35

And yea, it just cost me RM 57 !


Next, wanna know what happened between He and She?
Is a good news, both of them started their relationship officially during Valentine.
That's not the ending, or I should say that the Story has just Begun!
Wish them all the best!


Trip that I am going this year:
1. Langkawi (2nd-5th, April). School Magazine Editorial Board(Chinese).
2. Kuantan (18th-19th, April). Chinese Society.
That makes me can't go to church for the 1st and 3rd Sunday during the month of April, especially the 3rd Sunday, that day is Easter leh!
I'll definitely do my own devotion during that 2 days.
I am shame to say that I didn't do daily devotion, not even weekly or monthly. That's really not good, very not good.


Last Sunday(yesterday), I was a Sunday School Teacher for an hour.
My Sunday School Teacher was absent and so I actually did the sharing, who ask me is the eldest among the group. They are 1 year younger than me.
We talked about how to prove that Bible is truth.
Maybe next time I'll post up about this, when the day I am free to arrange everything up and translate to English(the hardest job) and type them here.


Today is my Mom's Birthday. Happy Birthday!


Days left: 264

Sabah, I'm coming~

Air Asia is giving out 500,000 free seats.
Book from: 10 - 15 Feb 2009 | Travel from: 12 Oct 2009 - 31 Jan 2010

What makes me excited is 2 ways to Sabah (go and back) only cost RM 57 per person.
Yea, is JUST RM57, no hidden fees. That RM 57 is actually the airport tax.
It has been almost 3 years since my last visit to my Grandparents House.
I remembered the March holiday during my form 4 time, I went there for 9 days.
Since then I never go back edi. So miss the place.

And here is the question:
Who want to go Sabah with me from 5th Jan, 2010 to hmm....don't know when...maybe stay 10 days there?
That time we are free from any form of Exam and I can't wait for the day to come.

Maybe we can make a trip to Sabah. We can visit all the way from Kota Kinabalu to Kundasang(climb Mount Kinabalu here) then to Kudat(My Grandparents house).......

Bla Bla Bla, I am just day-dreaming.
2 problems:
1st, look at the booking date. 15 Feb last day. Not many can confirm in such a short period of time.
2nd, it will be costly. For me is ok la, I can eat and stay there for free. Hah~ The Main Cost will be transportation fee.

So, just forget it, I am going alone. Maybe with my family if they are able to make it. But I am going for sure, going there with Jit Yo on the same day as his Sem Break end.
(Omg, I can't wait to book now, but my parents are sleeping, can't talk to them...lol..)

Days Left: 270

Complicated Relationship

It's been a month since school reopen. Chinese New Year had passed and the month of January left us. I was busy and lazy to update my blog.
Anyway, I'm not going to summarize of what happened to me last week.

Today, my main topic will be about Relationship, to be more specific, relationship between Guy & Girl.
We, no matter we're in a relationship, use to have a relationship, never had a relationship or soon to have a relationship, must consider about this. Cause, this is all related to us(for Christian), I mean in later part of our life, we will have to have a 'Life Partner'(except that you want to be single for whole of your life). Here is the case that I would like to study:

There's a guy. He is a Christian. He is a loyal guy. He love a girl who is a non-christian.
I can't make it clear or specific cause I don't want to reveal who is him here.
Here's the story:
The guy and the girl were classmates.
The guy loves the girl so much that he sacrifice and change himself for her.
Even now the path that he's taking now, part of it, was because of the girl.
He was a quiet guy, he don't really mix around with people.
He knew that if he continue to be like that, she will never notice him.
So, he changed. He became very active in class, he talked and joke a lot. He mixed around with his classmate, played around crazily in class.
Many people knew that he likes her, but he never confess to her.
Until one day, he took up all of his courage and called her, and confessed to her.
Her answer made him disappointed. But, he never give up on her.
During her birthday, he bought a cake, made a cd with songs that contain all the message that he wants to tell her, with a letter, brought to her house and gave her.
During Valentines' Day, he gave her presents.
This continue for few years, with different 'skills' each time.
He became a better christian,he was a good christian,but because of her he became a better 1.
He wants to show a good testimony to her, he wants her to know that Jesus loves her. He wants her life to be saved. He wants to be with her FOREVER, not in this life only, but forever!
But, she's stubborn. She refused to accept christ.
Nevertheless, he still love her.
He waited her for 3(or 4) years although she rejected him many times, he didn't give up.

Finally, one day, after a long long time, her answer was different. She was touched by him, she falls in love with him. She wants to be together with him too!
But she claimed that she needs some time to prepare, so he gave her time, till 14th Feb, 2009, that's the Valentines' Day.

The story didn't end yet, both the main characters and I(the narrator) also don't know what will be happening next.
Can they live happily ever after? I don't know..

But here is what happened after the day she confessed back to him.
He went to bible study, and it was so 'coincidence' that the topic was about relationship between boys and girls. He talked with his church member, and suddenly their topic was revolving around relationship problem. And the content of the topic seems like telling him that he should not start a relationship with a non-christian. It's just like God is talking to him through different people. He started to become worried.

Between God's will and Relationship, which one should he choose?

He asked for my opinion. I gave him my opinion. Then he replied me with things that I never thought before. Before this, he had a talk with a uncle, and his points was that a Christian should not start a relationship with a non-christian.
It was hard, real hard decision.

So, I actually asked my sunday school teacher about this, and his opinion is different from that uncle. He said that the bible didn't say that a Christian ought to be with a Christian, but it is better to be with a christian no matter how. He said, to start a relationship with a non-christian is ok as long as u try your best to touch her/him with the love of Christ but it is not so good if want to marry with a non-christian.............

There's some other things which I don't know how to put in words.
The whole thing is rather complicated.
For me, it is ok to be with a christian or a non-christian, I will lead and guide her to become a christian if she's a non-christian. That's what I think last time.
But now, after so many things, I think I need to re-think about the whole thing.
I need to have the best answer for this question.

May God guide him throughout the whole path that he must take, Valentines is very near now and hope and he and she will found out the best solution for both.